Fun Time: Akpors In Class

Teacher: who will pronounce 999 in words?
[teacher points Little Johnny]
Little Johnny: Sir, its nine hundred and ninety nine!
Teacher: wow! Clap for him..who will try and tell me 777
words?
David: Sir, it's seven hundred and seventy seven!..
Teacher: wow! U guys are awesome.. An applaud
for david..
Teacher: finally, who will pronounce 111 in words for us?
[At the corner, little Akpors shouted,"I sirrrr!..SirrrrI]
Teacher: yess Akpors!
Akpos: Sir! It's ONE HUNDRED AND ONETY ONE
Teacher fainted

Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding in your closet- Funny

A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife Unclad on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he's dialling, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The man slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally Unclad, covering on the closet floor. "You !" the man says, "My wife is having a heart attack and you're running around Unclad scaring the kids!"

Akpors Seeking For Admission Into University

AKPOS: Uncle, I learnt its difficult to get admission into University these days, except you are well

connected… Uncle: Yes thats true. …

AKPOS: Since you are connected, I came to ask you to help me get admission into university after my

jamb.

Uncle: Ya that’s true…am connected and I will help you. AKPOS: Thank you uncle. Uncle: You are welcome,

so how is your result, is it Waec or Neco and how many credits did you get?

AKPOS: Uncle, its waec, I had only 2 credits in Agricultural science and Yoruba language, but I failed the

rest.

The most funny tribe in Nigeria

1.A HAUSA man who removes his shoes 2 enter a taxi.
2.An IGBO man who goes 2 d bank with a spanner 2 open an account.
3.A YORUBA man who goes 2 bed wt a ruler just 2 know how long he has slept.
4. A TIV man who watches news on TV...and waves at d news caster.
5. An EFIK nurse who wakes up a sleeping patient simply becos she 4got 2 give him sleeping pills.
6. An IGALA man who turns down d volume of his TV becos he wants 2 read a text message.
7. An EDO man who sprays himself wt Raid insecticide 2 keep mosquitoes away.
8. An IKWERE man who polishes his shoes 2 take passport sized photo.

Names Of Churches In Nigeria- Funny

• Go and tell Ahab that Elijah

is here Ministries - Benin

• God is Real Ministry. Motto:

.Nak me Akpako Ministries

"Jesus no get muscle but

he get power"

• JESUS THE LANDLORD, WE

THE RELAXING PEW MINISTRY

- Port harcourt

• Old time religion ministry

• Strong Hand of God

ministry

• Best Spot In The Land of

God Church - Apapa.

• Trigger happy ministry.

Motto- "always firing the

devil" ---Affiliated to MOPOL

or Niger Delta militants

If Today Is Declared World Stealing Day

world Hiv Day
world Thinking Day
world Boxing Day
world This & That Day
World Marrying Day

I Can't Just Stop To Ask Myself, If Today Is Declared World Stealing Day
what will you steal???

Describe Your House Rat In One Word

Attributes of those mother F*ckers in my house
Fast
Skillful
Smart
And Fertile
Hobbies
Dancing
Watching Tv (Especially Nat geo wild)
Stealing food from the Flask (cause they dont eat food that already drops the floor, they feel its not hygienic)

Fighting
When they start fighting the house won't be at rest until we seperate them using Stone or Cane
Lemme stop for Now

Do you think your House Rats are more crazier than mine?
Describe them below..
I hope the mod finds this interesting

Funny Akpors With His Family

Mr. Akpors was blessed with a beautiful wife and got a bouncing baby boy under the age of seven. To please his lovely family with fun, he bought a lie detector robot which slaps people when they lie from a shopping center. He decided to test it during dinner with his family the next day.

Mr. Akpors: Son, Where were you today?

Akpors junior: I was at school dad.

Robot Slaps The Son!

Akpors Junior: ok dad, i went to nkechi's house to watch dvd....

Mr. Akpors: What sort of dvd?

Akpors junior: Toy story

Robot Slaps The Son Again!

This is the awkward Truth about Nigeria Husbands...

There was a group of men gathered at a church conference on "How to live in a loving relationship with your wife".

The men were asked, "How many of you love your wife?"
All the men raised their hands.
Then, they were asked "When was the last time you told your wife you loved her?
Some men answered "Today", Some said "Yesterday", majority didn't remember when.

The men were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective wife
" I LOVE YOU, SWEETHEART"...  

Then the men were told to exchange phones so one can read the other person's wifes reply to the love message.
Here are some of the replies.
1. Have you impregnated someone again?  

Ways to Get More Facebook Likes/Fans Free and Quick

Do you have a Facebook Fanpage or Business page? If you do then you might, at one point or another, have wondered how to increase your “likes” and followers and how to get more facebook likes.

There are many services on the internet that offer “likes” for a fee. Unfortunately most of the followers you will gain from those services are fake and/or will not truly be engaged in the content you put out.

There are many methods for gaining more followers and you will find 100′s of articles about them out in

Gates Cambridge Scholarships

Gates Cambridge Scholarships are highly competitive full-cost scholarships. They are awarded to outstanding applicants from countries outside the UK to pursue a full-time postgraduate

The Only Circumstance Under Which I Will (Happily) Move Back Home to Nigeria

Igbo Blood

An Arab was admitted in the Hospital for a heart operation, butprior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arises.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to the neighboring towns. Finally an Igbo guy was located who had a similar type of blood.

The IGBO guy willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Igbo guy as appreciation, a new BMW 540iL, diamonds, lapis lazuli jewelry, and half a million US dollars.

Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the igbo dude who was more than

Simple Question: “Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?”

Simple Question: “Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?”

GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us orfor us.
There is no middle ground here.

BILL GATES: I have just witnessed eChicken2012 which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook; internet explorer is an

Development Scholarships For Nigerian Students in Czech Republic 2014/2015

Here is a Scholarship called Development Scholarships for Nigerian Students and Students from other Developing Countries in Czech Republic for the 2014/2015 Academic Year.

Thanks to a generous contribution from the Czech Ministry of Education, Youth and Sport, the Faculty of Social Sciences is able to offer a limited number of partial scholarships for students of all fee based programs in academic year 2014/15. A total of five scholarships are available, ear-marked for students from developing countries and/or countries going through a process of political and economic transition.

What is on offer

1. Under the terms of this scholarship, students will receive a waiver of school fees for their first semester of study, plus a one-off payment of Kc 50,000 (about 2,050 Euro) as a contribution

This conversation took place between Akpors and his dad.

Dad: Son, please buy me a soft drink..

Akpors: Coke or Pepsi?

Dad: Coke.

Akpors: Diet or regular?

Dad: Regular.

Akpors: Bottle or can?

Dad: Bottle.

Akpors: Litre or oz?

Akpos’ Letter of Apology

Akpos a University student who shocked his lecturer with the kind of English he didn’t expect.

Akpos is a varsity student. The Lecturer ordered him to write an apology letter showing why he didn’t submit an assignment.

Dear Lecturer,

I’m sorry I could not do the homework on time because I was tired after watching televison.

Thank you..

The Lecturer warns him to write a formal letter with formal english or reflective of a varsity student lest he be punished.

This is what Akpos wrote…

Dear knowledge conduit,

My sovereign persona is thoroughly apologetic for my sordid academic behavioural inactivity or

Delta State Graduate Assistance Programme (GradUP) 2013 Job

Employment opportunities for Delta State Indigenes — Quanteq Technology Services Limited is providing ad hoc employment opportunities in ICT for unemployed indigenes of Delta State who have completed the National Youths Service Corps (NYSC) Scheme.

Delta State Graduate Assistance Programme (GradUP)

Graduated with BSc. or HND certificate of Delta State Origin are eligible for this job opportunity. However,

Enyeama now No.1 at Lille

Nigeria international, Vincent Enyeama, has been declared first-choice goalkeeper at French Ligue 1 side, Lille Metropole for the 2013/14 season.

According to L’Equipe, Lille manager, Rene Girard, has decided to put Enyeama ahead of Frenchman, Steeve Elana in the pecking order of goalkeepers at the club.

“Vincent Enyeama (30 years) will be the number one goalkeeper of Lille next season as