ASUU STRIKE FILM ADVERTISEMENT!!

Hehe!Yes O! E don happen again o. Chukwudi Films in association wit Chukwuemeka Pictures

present anoda og****e movie " ASUU STRIKE 2013".Dis one na movie wey pass movie o! Dem no dey tell person dis one o! U must to watch am urself & for urself. Come hear the true story behind the whole ASUU Strike. Who start am, why dem start am, who suppose end am and who no gree end am! U go c all for dis movie. Money don scatter our country o! Dis one dey ask 4 money, dat one say no money...ewoOooo o! Chai! Come see as University students dey suffer, see as crime don dey increase, girls dey born like fowl, yahoo boys dey press control enter ooo, see as lecturers kukuma don turn home teachers & some dey roger kabukabu with dem moto... Parents dey cry say their children don finish food for house. Ew www...see this mama she say na 4 derica of rice she dey chop per month but now wey her pikin dey house, nah 1 bag per month ooo...chai! See Blood!See Blood!!See Blood!!! Students no gree ooo. Rich men no worry. Leaders no even send.Ewooooooo! Wetin poor man go do. Kai! ASUU STRIKE! ASUU STRIKE!! ASUU STRIKE 2013!! Full of Suspense, intrigues, romance, swagger, ginger...dat will keep u glued to d edge of ur seat. U go laff, u go cryand u go reason sef. ASUU STRIKE!

ASUU STRIKE!! ASUU STRIKE 2013!!!. . . Grab ur copy now!

Starring:

Kanayo O. Kanayo as

Goodluck

Jonathan, Pete Edochie as Nassir faggie,

Patience Ozokwor as Ngozi Okonjo- Iweala,

Eucharia Anunobi as Prof.Ruqayyat,

Jide Kosoko as Gabriel Suswan,

Olu Jacobs as Prof Julius Okojie,

Jim Iyke as Yahoo boy, Saka as poor man o!

Marketed and distributed

by

chiemelie & Sons Ltd. 7

pound road aba.ASUU STRIKE 2013!

Grab ur copy now!!!

Oga has been sleeping around

A Man missed his wife who travelled, so much that he felt the matrimonial bed was too big
for just him alone. Then, he decided to sleep on the sofa, dinning chair and sometimes
in the library, children's room and the Guest room. When the wife came back,
she asked the maid if her husband was sleeping fine while she was away. But the
maid answered: Madam, since you left, Oga no dey gree sleep for una Bedroom,
He has been sleeping around ooooooo.
The woman fainted!!

One word for the Housemaid.

Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding in your closet- Funny

A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife Unclad on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance, but just as he's dialling, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The man slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally Unclad, covering on the closet floor. "You !" the man says, "My wife is having a heart attack and you're running around Unclad scaring the kids!"

The most funny tribe in Nigeria

1.A HAUSA man who removes his shoes 2 enter a taxi.
2.An IGBO man who goes 2 d bank with a spanner 2 open an account.
3.A YORUBA man who goes 2 bed wt a ruler just 2 know how long he has slept.
4. A TIV man who watches news on TV...and waves at d news caster.
5. An EFIK nurse who wakes up a sleeping patient simply becos she 4got 2 give him sleeping pills.
6. An IGALA man who turns down d volume of his TV becos he wants 2 read a text message.
7. An EDO man who sprays himself wt Raid insecticide 2 keep mosquitoes away.
8. An IKWERE man who polishes his shoes 2 take passport sized photo.

Names Of Churches In Nigeria- Funny

• Go and tell Ahab that Elijah

is here Ministries - Benin

• God is Real Ministry. Motto:

.Nak me Akpako Ministries

"Jesus no get muscle but

he get power"

• JESUS THE LANDLORD, WE

THE RELAXING PEW MINISTRY

- Port harcourt

• Old time religion ministry

• Strong Hand of God

ministry

• Best Spot In The Land of

God Church - Apapa.

• Trigger happy ministry.

Motto- "always firing the

devil" ---Affiliated to MOPOL

or Niger Delta militants

If Today Is Declared World Stealing Day

world Hiv Day
world Thinking Day
world Boxing Day
world This & That Day
World Marrying Day

I Can't Just Stop To Ask Myself, If Today Is Declared World Stealing Day
what will you steal???

Describe Your House Rat In One Word

Attributes of those mother F*ckers in my house
Fast
Skillful
Smart
And Fertile
Hobbies
Dancing
Watching Tv (Especially Nat geo wild)
Stealing food from the Flask (cause they dont eat food that already drops the floor, they feel its not hygienic)

Fighting
When they start fighting the house won't be at rest until we seperate them using Stone or Cane
Lemme stop for Now

Do you think your House Rats are more crazier than mine?
Describe them below..
I hope the mod finds this interesting

This is the awkward Truth about Nigeria Husbands...

There was a group of men gathered at a church conference on "How to live in a loving relationship with your wife".

The men were asked, "How many of you love your wife?"
All the men raised their hands.
Then, they were asked "When was the last time you told your wife you loved her?
Some men answered "Today", Some said "Yesterday", majority didn't remember when.

The men were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective wife
" I LOVE YOU, SWEETHEART"...  

Then the men were told to exchange phones so one can read the other person's wifes reply to the love message.
Here are some of the replies.
1. Have you impregnated someone again?  

Igbo Blood

An Arab was admitted in the Hospital for a heart operation, butprior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arises.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to the neighboring towns. Finally an Igbo guy was located who had a similar type of blood.

The IGBO guy willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Igbo guy as appreciation, a new BMW 540iL, diamonds, lapis lazuli jewelry, and half a million US dollars.

Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the igbo dude who was more than

Simple Question: “Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?”

Simple Question: “Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?”

GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us orfor us.
There is no middle ground here.

BILL GATES: I have just witnessed eChicken2012 which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook; internet explorer is an

Asuu Wahala

Mr. Udoh buried all the politicians

Mr. Udoh was returning from the farm
when a plane crashed into his rubber plantation.
The plane was full of politicians. He knew if he left the
wreckage to get help, some the politicians
would rot by the time he return so he dug graves and buried all of them.

He reported to the police and the state governor

Conversation between a girl and dad

Girl: Dad,I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I'm in United State and he
lives in the UK. We met on a dating website, became friends on facebook, had
long chats on whatsapp, proposed to each other on skype, and now 2 months of
relationship through viber, i need your blessings and good wishes daddy

Her dad said: Really!then get married on twitter, have fun on tango. Buy your
kids on e-bay, send them through gmail. And if you are fed up with your
husband.... sell him on amazon.com

Advice for you

1. @ 35years, "all the single ladies" by Beyonce is your ringtone. My dear, keep it up, U surely run da world.

2. @ 40 years, U wake up everyday from sleep by 10am, Ah! the witches in ur village are mean o

3. @ 35years, U are still draggin the head of fish with ur siblings at home, My dear, RICK ROSS must be sitting on top of ur future.

4. @ 40years, U are still asking ur parent for offering money every sunday, My broda, U need all the Men of God in Nigeria to pray for you o.

5. @ 40years, U are still searching for that PERFECT gentleman to marry, Aunty na wa o, U must be the LEGEND OF THE SEEKER

6. @ 15years, Ur status is "single & searching"... what are you searching for? U be satellite??

7. @ 25years, You have slept with morethan 100 gals, my broda, If you keep it up you go break Solomon's Bible record o

What's the Title of the Song

You're in the Car
With your Mum and Dad,
Your Mum is driving
And Rihanna's song
"Shut up & Drive"
Is playing on Radio,
Your Mum asked
"What's the Title of the Song"...
What will be you
Response?

What do we call a black person from Poland?

Someone from America is called American...

Someone from Poland is called Polish...

Black person from America is called Black American...

Then what do we call black person from Poland?

Write your answer in the comment box..... 

Smart Mum

A mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl as a roommate. During his meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there's more between him and his roommate. 

Reading his mom's thought, his son volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure

Check your weight with your blacberry phone

You can now check your weight
with your blacberry phone. Just
dial *2352# then keep it on the
floor and stand on it accurately
and wait for the result. Before
standing on it make sure you
chop akpu and egwisi soup.

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The clocks of Lies

One day, a man died and went to heaven. On getting there, he met his angel in a room full of clocks.

Man: "what are these?"
Angel: " Lie clocks. Everybody on earth have a lie clock which ticks each time the person lies"

The man noticed a golden watch that is not ticking and asked: "who owns this watch?"

Angel: "Mother Theresa. She didnt lie in her entire life time so her clock didnt tick"

Man: "ok. Where are the clocks owned by politicians?"

Angel: " Oh. There Are In our office. We use them as standing fans"

Every day English spoken by English Spokers

"To hair is human to forgive is design"

"I hate guys with low selves of steam".#:-s

"You are a blessing to your generator".:$ "I am a soccer for guys

wit six park".

"My bb charger is no longer walking".;;)

"Anybody who supports this killings is a carnival"

"Be magnified Oh Lord, you are highly exhausted"X_X

"Joy comment in d morning"

"Goodmourning friends"

"I didnt did it"

"I one to b your friend"

"Thank you Lord 4 a brown new day"

Add yours, don't spoil the fun!!!!

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